Sunday, July 27, 2008

Are We There Yet?

The waiting has been the worst part of the entire process. I have thought of every possible thing that could go wrong. I have thought about crazy shit, like teenage pregnancy and that maybe it's not such a bad idea. I have thought about how fertile drug-addicted prostitutes can be and questioned my career and life choices. I have gone back and forth with my thoughts on asking a woman in prison to carry our baby. This is the most surprising argument that I have had with myself! I have actually rationalized that a woman in prison gets access to health care, in a controlled environment, while getting a well-balanced diet. They are in a disciplined environment that might actually benefit the fetus. Think about this - what would lockdown mean to my child? I bet our child would always go to bed on time! Also, we would never have to send our kid to one of those "Scared Straight" programs. It would also make a great essay topic for future college or reality TV show applications. Just imagine reading an essay titled "I Was Born in Prison." Seriously, this is where my tortured mind wonders off to when left to its own devices.

We are still anxiously waiting to hear from Dr. Patel about whether our surrogate is preggers or not. It has been an excruciatingly long wait. I can't help but torture my mind. One second I am thinking of baby names and the next I am looking at fertilty clinics. It is making me feel bipolar.

We have hatched a Plan B. We would probably go to India again, but next time, we would start our treatment here in the States. It sucks to have to think like this, but it would suck even more to get the bad news and not have anything to move forward to.

7 comments:

Intending To Be Parents said...

I have been reading along with your blog. My heart goes out to you! I've been through that 2ww with IUIs and IVF before and I have a retrieval in less than 3 weeks for our first transfer to our surogate and I'll be in this same boat (hopefully) soon!
I am sending you positive vibes for a positive result for your surrogate and hoping that these next few days go quickly!

Sandra said...

Hi guys, hang in there, we are definitely thinking of you!

Anonymous said...

Know that those of us who love you two are thinking positive thoughts and sending as much love and prayers as possible to you both and to Meena. Keep your chins up.

Kymberli said...

I am so glad that I found your blog. I made it here through intending to be parents' website.

I have a dear friend who will be embarking on her surrogacy journey with Dr. Patel in August/September. She has wanted to connect with someone who is further along the road than she is, or at least read of their experiences. I will definitely send her a link to your blog.

I'm an experienced GS who has also overcome my own fertility battles. I am a contributing editor for a common blog called "Bridges" and I cover the surrogacy category. One of the things I have to do is write articles about surrogacy, but I also feature posts from and link to other bloggers. May I include you on my blog roll (which will also be linked on the site) and also include some of your posts about your surrogacy experience?

I'm looking forward to reading more...I hope that your surrogate is pregnant!

Kymberli said...

I forgot to give you the link to Bridges! http://awarenessbridges.blogspot.com/

Crystal said...

Hi Tracy--

I know how you feel, because we experienced the same thing. I admire Dr. Patel, and what she does for women all over the world. We are starting to get so excited about the birth of our baby. Your surrogate and baby will be fine. Trust me....we are at 28 weeks!

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