Saturday, October 11, 2008

Thinking Ahead

It's amazing to believe that this time last year we couldn't conceptualize being pregnant. Yet, here we are 15 weeks along in our pregnancy. Unbelievable.

Sometime in March we will be going back to India for the birth of our baby. Dr. Patel had mentioned when we were in India that parents who were there for the birth of their child would sometimes do a cycle to conceive another child. We found it intriguing but wanted to cross the hurdle of actually getting pregnant before we forged ahead for another baby.

On the one hand it would be convenient. We would already be there, and we would know what to expect. Also, the longer we wait, the older I get, which is not a great thing in terms of our chances of being successful again. On the other hand if we were successful on our second attempt, we would have to travel back to India with an infant to pick up our baby. Also, our babies would be traditional Irish twins, nine months apart. That could be a lot for us to handle. The thought of having one infant, nevermind two (or even three, as twins are not exactly rare with IVF), is daunting enough right now.

We briefly talked about trying for another baby when we go back to India this morning. We're both pretty torn. We're extremely grateful to have a baby on the way.   We realize that we don't have the luxury of being spontaneous about having a second child, so I think we owe it to ourselves to at least consider this as a viable option.  Who knows?  Maybe we're just getting ahead of ourselves.  What would you do? Let us know by answering our poll question.

8 comments:

Rhonda and Gerry W said...

Wish I could vote...but I can't! This is a personal decision that you and only hubby can make. We can all give our opinion but in the end its up to you! I know you both will make the right decision for you. It is hard especially with such anticipation of a new one coming and your decision may change after that...who knows. Be patient, think long and hard and it WILL come to you both. What ever you decide, we support you on the forum!

hugs,
Rhonda

Anonymous said...

Good question, I wonder whether anyone has even done it so early

Anonymous said...

Hi,
we are 19 weeks pregnant through surrogacy in India. We were also thinking of trying for another baby while picking up our 1st, since we would love to have more kids. Recently we have reached a decision not to. I can only offer you our reasons:

- I would really worry to take a 9 month-old baby to India. At such early age they are so vulnerable and get ill very easily. And in India I heard of and saw many big guys suffer health problems, so with a tinny baby it would be scary. I am hoping to get out of India with this one as fast as possible.

- a friend of mine had a baby in March. In June the baby developed a healh condition and now it needs a permanent medical care. I am praying for a healthy baby but have to be prepared for any situation. There are no guarantees. And if we found ourselves in a similar situation, how could we travel back to India to pick up the other baby? So we decided to wait at least 7-8 months to see how our baby is doing and progressing.

- the last thing that we considered was a chance of having twins with the next cycle (we started with twins this cycle, lost one, so it is possible again). The idea of taking an infant to India and having twins there waiting for us (twins are often premature) is just too much for us at the moment.
So right now we are happy with having one, hopefully healthy baby.
I am sure you and your husband will make a decision that is right for you and you´ll feel comfortable with. You still have plenty of time to weigh your pros and cons. Good luck.
JK

Sarah said...

I agree with other comments that it is a personal decision, and that travelling with an infant to India would be difficult. We're travelling in a month and not taking our 19-month-old for that reason)

But, as a mom, I can tell you that you could handle two (or three!) young children. They are toughest from 0-4 months, so for sure don't try for another right now!!! :)

SarahC

Anonymous said...

I am following your blog because a friend of mine is considering doing the surrogacy in India, so we read it together. I have 2 children that are 12 months apart. (we didn´t plan it this way, but are grateful for them). I have to tell you the first year, year and a half with both of them was very hard. If I hadn´t had my mum and sister around to help me (and my hubby,of course) I don´t know how I would have managed it.

It is a personal decision and I guess you will know the answer to it when you start taking care of your first baby.You will see how you feel. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
Valerie

Rick said...

Hello,

I've been reading your blog for a bit and thought of a suggestion..

How about you go ahead with an IVF and freeze the embryos. Then you have plenty of time to make a decision..

Basically you're hedging in case you do decide that you want another child.

My wife and I are going to Rotunda in January. We're hoping that we can get several embryos so that we can freeze the extras. We would like to have two children eventually. Freezing the embryos on our first trip will protect us in case the first transfer attemp isn't successful. It will also cover us if we are successful and want another child..

no matter what you decide, I wish you the best and look forward to hearing about the birth of your child...

Rick in Texas

Mike and Mike said...

I'm with Rick on this. With freezing the embryos, you have a lot less pressure. Although they prefer "fresh," thus far, all our research has shown that "fresh" isn't any worse or better.

Mike A.

N said...

Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog...it's nice to "meet" you. :) I voted "yes", because I perceive the travel to and from India to be a big undertaking, and I would maximize my time while there for efficiency. But, that is a total outsider perspective because I have no idea how difficult the travel and circumstances actually are. It is a big decision and I wish you the best. Regardless, congratulations on your pregnancy and I look forward to reading your blog!